1

Hey ladies, you know that anti-aging cream you apply to your faces that makes you glow like two suns, keeping you the goddess you are? Well, what if I told you there is a free, “man-made” product that can have similar effects? That’s right, your man’s semen. Sperm contains a chemical known as “Spermidine” that causes cells to age at a slower pace. For best results, apply liberally.

That’s Christie Brinkley BTW. She’s 63. I think we found her secret.

2

Engaging in oral sex can actually lower your stress levels, ladies. That’s right, studies have proven that women who ingest semen have less risk of depression. This is because it contains chemicals such as cortisol, estrogen and oxytocin—all known to be antidepressants. Next time your man is stressing you out, your best course of action may be some wicked oral action.

3

Keep that BP down by giving a little oral action. Semen is proven to reduce the chances of women developing preeclampsia—blood pressure issues during pregnancy. When your BP goes up, it’s time to go down.

4

Some women with the baby bump get a serious uptick in sex drive. Unfortunately, after a certain point, penetration becomes a danger to the health of baby and mother—most notably the infections that can come from a man’s ejaculate. So, keep the juices flowing, so to speak, and satiate your desires by engaging in vigorous oral sex instead.

5

One more for the pregnant ladies: semen can help ease morning sickness. The nutrients found in your man’s obviously potent baby batter are known to settle a stomach. It’s actually helping you by mixing with your own natural chemicals to balance your hormones.

6

Not only will going down on him relieve you from the nuisance of your man’s constant prodding, but it can dull your own physical pain as well. That’s because semen contains oxytocin and endorphins that act as natural pain killers.

7

Breast cancer is an ever-present terror that’s becoming even more common, particularly in women over the age of 40. Well, you’ve got a new secret weapon! Studies have proven that women who engage in oral sex at least twice a week are at a comparatively lower risk of breast cancer later in life. Once again, magic man batter contains chemicals which prevent the growth of this particular cancer.

8

With all the instant gratification and the internet immortalizing everything, it’s easy to forget that a memory is something that can be exercised and improved, or lost. This in turn can help your problem-solving skill tremendously. That’s right, semen is also rich in the nutrients that help your mind work and sustain itself.

9

Having trouble sleeping? Don’t fall into that pit of a worsening sleep cycle. God forbid you try to pull one of those famed “all-nighters” and reset. Just go down on your man for a few and reap the rewards. Semen contains melatonin, which is one of the most effective natural sleep aids. It will even work for him, cause you know how we are after finishing… Zzzzzzzzz!

10

As for the man in your life, he is reaping serious benefits too—other than the obvious. Studies have shown that the more a man ejaculates in his life the less likely he is to develop prostate cancer. So, while you get all the above-mentioned bonuses, he gets potentially less probing. I’d say that’s a good trade-off.