Sometimes, Sex Is Interrupted In The Most Stupid Of Ways (15 pics + 2 gifs)

Posted in RANDOM       14 Jul 2017       6698      

“I have a clapper light and the sound of balls on butt cheek turned the bedside lamp on… we promptly resumed after some hysterics.” – thehamslammer

“She was on top going cowgirl when all of the sudden she stops and looks down at me with a concerned look on her face. I immediately asked what was wrong very much concerned I had hurt her or she had hurt herself. She says “I have to fart.” So I told her to do it. It vibrated my balls. We couldn’t continue because we were laughing too much.” – The-Spaceman

“There was an episode of family guy where Lois and Peter are having sex and the rest of the family listens to the rhythmic creaking of their bed in fear/disgust – except for Stewie who dreams he’s on a rocking chair on the porch of a southern plantation. He takes a sip of iced tea and says, “ahhh it’s good to have land”.

Once, my then girlfriend and I were doing it and the bed started squeaking in that exact rhythm. I thought of that scene and for some reason didn’t have my mouth-brain filter engaged so I just blurted out, while thrusting in missionary, “ahh it’s good to have land.” She then gave me the most confused, “what?” I’ve ever heard and we both started laughing so uncontrollably that I lost my erection. Couldn’t finish ’til half an hour later.” – conRAMU

“My boyfriend’s pet cockatiel started to sing ‘Happy and you know it’ and wolf whistle.. while watching us.” – Prisons

“I lived in a 2-story house, which was quite old. It had piped steam heating, and one of the issues was that when the heat came on, the pipes expanded(?), causing a weird knocking sound, as if someone was walking in high heels. My bedroom was in the lower floor, and the living room (and entrance) above.

One night I had a girl that I had recently met over and it was her first time at my place. It was late, we were getting frisky, then started doing it. She was on top, riding away. I was having a good time, to say the least. Unbeknownst to me, the heat had come on. So suddenly the knocking starts, and she gets this horrified look on her face, hastily gets up and starts getting dressed. I was so used to the knocking that it didn’t even register anymore.

So I’m like, “what happened? What did I do??” And she replied, “Your wife is here! I heard her walk in upstairs!!” And I’m like.. what wife? I live alone!

Soon it dawned on me what had happened, and we both had a good laugh.” – ispeakdatruf

“I couldn’t keep going with Forest Gump going on in the background. I still have yet to finish that movie. Lost my virginity that day though.” – just_an_anarchist

“My diabetic boyfriends blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled “JUICE!!!”” – sarahdactyl1026

“It started to burn….really bad. Turns out my boyfriend at the time hadn’t washed his hands after we had made jalapeno poppers earlier that night. It was an inferno down there.” – derekmaelstrom

“I thought it would be funny to wear my prescription monocle to bed and she didn’t notice till halfway through” – TheManicMonocle

“My wife and I were going doggy style and I kind of swept her legs out so we were doing it with her on her stomach. She immediately yelled out “remooove the suppoooorts” a la the witch weighing scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It took us 30 minutes before we started again because we were laughing so hard.” – BMoreBeowulf

“Wife was pregnant, baby kicked me in the stomach. She thought it was hilarious, me not so much.” – Brewsleroy

“A rat bit me.

He had a pet rat that had free run of the space at the top of his dresser. I grabbed the edge of the dresser in the middle of things, and the rat did not take the intrusion kindly and delivered a sneak attack to my fingertip. Blood fountained everywhere, and we had to take a first aid break.” – mus_maximus

“We knocked over an open bottle of red wine and it started spilling on the white carpet. He stops and starts scrubbing it “OH SHIT! MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME!” He was 30 years old. Apparently it was his dad’s house” – spaghatta111

“Wife finished and was waiting for me to finish. Heat of the moment and close to finishing she looks at me and says “you can do it buddy.” That was the end of it and was like a deflated balloon how fast it went down. Still joke about it…..outside of the bedroom of course.” – ffemtinpa

“We had been going at it for awhile so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we’re switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexist, not at all trying to be funny voice, he goes: “yeah? Well, you’re a tight little noodle”. He was furious with himself for saying it after I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to continue.” – Coffeeandscribe

“In the middle of us having sex, she stopped and excitedly says, “You smell like an eggroll!””

“Was in her bed for the first time. The sides of her bed frame rose up and were on the same level as the bed. Flash to love making, I’m half standing going to town, when I reposition my foot on the covers. Turns out that was actually the frame, and I slip, fall off the bed and slam my head on the wall.” – holabola0000


Credits:  izismile.com


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