“Gold bond powder is the cure-all for swamp ass and many men swear by it.”
“Never manscape your ass…. ever. Pretty sure this has been covered somewhere in TheChive before. I’m backing that poor guy up… Dont do it. SWASS, the Chafing, the sweat, and yes no secret farts…”
“I didn’t think it was a “secret” but my wife lost her mind when she found out that most men don’t wipe their penis after peeing.”
“If “Man, I fell like a women!” comes on the radio I turn it up and sing as loud as I can…”
“When your nuts itch you have to pinch them instead of scratching”
“We want to be a little spoon too.”
“Sunglasses are for T&A”
“Every morning when I get out of the shower I wipe the fog off the mirror with my dirty underwear. My wife has no idea I do this.”
“About a solid 75% of the time when I reach into my pocket its to scratch my family jewels”
“We tuck our boners in our belts sometimes…”
“Yes our minds are already made up what we wanna eat, we just like seeing the dumb look on your faces when you say “I don’t careeeeeee, you pick”
“We really are working when we don’t text you back”
“Sometimes I leave the toilet seat up just out of spite because I’m always putting it down when I’m done. Why can’t you put it up for me when you’re done!?”
“Most of us are growers not show’rs.”
“We pee in the shower all the time”
“We ALL hate your high waisted jeans. Only your girlfriends tell you they look cute. They’re lying cause they’re your friend. We just stay quiet so we don’t get cut off.”
“After long dates. We rip MAJOR ass in the car on our way how after dropping you off.”