Porn Sets Aren’t As Hot As They Seem (9 pics + 5 gifs)

Posted in NSFW       11 Feb 2019       6686      

I write porn for a living.

I get an unusual amount of letters from people in prison, and most of my “fan” correspondence (not just from prison) is just thinly veiled attempts at sexting.

 

A friend of mine used to write adult films as his side hustle.

Math was the hardest part.

What would happen was that the studio would come up with a title, they’d have a number of sets available, a given number of male actors and a given number of female actors.

The writer was given all this information and had to come up with a storyline that used all the sets, and also included all the different combinations of men and women. Because you can’t have the same two people get together twice in the same film… people tend to fast-forward through a coupling that they’ve already watched.

So it all came down to complicated combinatorics to get it all to work together.

 

i’ve met a dude in japan whose job consisted in pixelating the genitals. it was a pretty good gig according to him, nothing to complain about.

 

I was invited to a fetish porn shoot at this bar in San Francisco a few years back where this young woman was strapped naked to a wooden cross and water boarded with beer and had her titties slapped around. After the shoot, I talked to her for awhile and she said the toughest part of the job is getting people to realize she wants to be there and is not there against her own free will even though, the shoot portrays a completely different story.

 

I very briefly worked part-time as a personal assistant to a guy who (among other ventures) co-runs a fairly popular studio. In my experience, while you might sort of work the periphery of the client’s financial dealings (managing appointments/fielding business-related calls) it’s not really expected or usual that your duties would include taking an active role in their business. But within a week of being hired he made it clear there would be a considerable bonus in it for me if I was willing to appear in some of his videos.

Thanks, but no thanks.

 

I had a friend whose job was to chauffeur porn stars from their homes to the set and back.

It was a tough job because the vast majority of the time they were so zonked out on drugs that he’d have to go inside, dress them, and drag them into the vehicle or carry them back inside their house. Even if they got themselves to the truck, they’d urinate or vomit all over the interior and he’d spend the middle of the day washing out the car. Then when he picked them up, they’d reek of porn set so he’d have to clean up again after.

He said there was one girl who was clear-headed, polite, and fun to talk to, but eventually she ended up dating a guy in porn and then sliding into a drugged up mess.

 

Not me but a friend of mine who I met every Friday for a drink worked in the industry for a big name in the SW. Actresses would watch over his shoulder while he was editing their scenes and commenting on what they liked/disliked, which he thought was a bit weird. There was one actress that had her boyfriend on set during filming. As soon as the scene was over he would clean her off with a towel. He said it made the whole set really uncomfortable. That lasted 2 weeks and they had closed sets after that.


SO. MANY. FLUIDS.

I stayed at a very well known director and porn star’s house in LA a few times while I was out there shooting. She let me sleep on her leather couch, but told me to wipe it down first. I then realized she uses that couch for filming and literally dozens and dozens of porn stars had fucked on it. When I watch movies she made I recognize the couch and wish I had splurged on an Airbnb.

 

More misconception than challenge, but I used to work at the Playboy offices back when they were converting all their VHS to DVD (yes, awhile ago). Part of my job was to sit and watch the VHS tapes and take note of where chapter breaks should be etc, and then when they made the DVD sleeves, I would have to QC them for spelling mistakes and things like that. Honestly, it was like any other office job I’ve ever had, except that there was always porn on in my cubical, and it was hard to convince people that it wasn’t some crazy frat house environment filled with debauchery. It did make for some odd conversations with my boss, and it was pretty hilarious that he could name what Playmate was in a picture even if you covered up her face, but overall, standard workplace.

 

I do not currently work in the industry nor can I say that I was actually involved in it to a strong degree, but I used to do audio work for someone who did, I frequently had to replace fire engine or police sirens or other extraneous sounds in the audio with appropriate sounding moans or sex noises when the location recording picked up stuff from outside the building. You would be surprised at how many times a moan can be copy-pasted and sound legitimate!

 

Used to work law enforcement(Quit the Police force because I didn’t like the way things were being handled at a higher level) and I now work as a contractor for porn sites. I filter through the uploaded videos to ensure there’s no CP, hidden videos/pictures in videos, surprise gore, etc. Delete Gore and other random videos(Like the Superbowl half-time show). CP gets forwarded to the proper authorities, alongside any info we have on the uploaders account. I hate it at times but at least some good comes of it.

Pays better and the job is safer. I’m hoping to make a career of it because honestly.. Porn isn’t going anywhere.

 

I have a cousin who used to work in post production editing. She only quit because the hours were long and it was taking a toll on her health. She’s still friends with a lot of them to this day. Some tidbits she told me:

– Most of them do it to fund college.

– the freakier the scene the more they get paid.

– girl on girl scenes pay the least

– there’s a ton of money in the cam industry.

 

I guess I had it easy…. I did editing and visual effects. My main problems were people giving me a ton of footage, not using a slate, having the actors ad lib so much I couldn’t always figure out what went where. Oh and missing clean plates, missing background shots and such.

Basically my issues were it was rapidly shot stuff by people who weren’t professionals and would forget steps that are important later.

 

I talked to a lighting guy in Los Angeles who said that he also worked on porn shoots.

I asked him “So – when a person delivers pizza all day, everything smells like pizza. Their car smells like pizza. Their clothes smell like pizza…”

He cut me off and said “Yes. You go home every night to your wife and kids smelling like sex. Like other people’s sex.”

[shudders]


Credits:  izismile.com



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