“I thought I’d feel him cum inside me but I didn’t. Really tried focusing every time to see if I’d feel anything at all, but no. Oh yeah, and I can’t finish with just penetration that part was annoying. Fun but annoying.”
“How hard it was to keep your erection when you have to run upstairs and find a condom and then try to put it on really fast.”
“All the weird noises.”
“Given all the joking about premature ejaculation, I was surprised with how long I lasted.”
“It was so warm in there!”
“That my core isn’t as strong as I thought it was.”
“The girl’s mother trying to barge in. The door was blocked by a dresser and her gaze beamed into the room like the eye of Sauron.”
“I was surprised that although sex felt better, masturbation gets the climax much faster.”
“Holy shit. If I’m going to do more of this, I need to get in shape. “
“I was like damn that is actually a lot of work. It made me understand Charles Barkley’s quote when talking about NBA teams playing three nights in a row — “I wouldn’t even want to have sex three nights in a row””
“For me, I think it was how natural it was. Like animal instincts kick in and your pelvis starts moving in whole new ways.”
“Queefs. She wasn’t a virgin. I was. I thought she was farting. I found that out when it happened again a week later and she said “You do know I’m not farting, right?”. I pretended I did and googled it afterward.”
“I knew that dicks got “hard” but I didn’t expect it to be THAT hard! And yet the tip is still nice and squishy…..that was just something I discovered with my hands.”
“How shallow people can be. It was with one of my closest friends at the time and they never spoke to me again.”
“That it wasn’t some life-changing event. I didn’t feel any different afterwards, except kinda proud for a day or two.”
“I was surprised someone wanted to sleep with me!”
“Condoms taste like shit.”
“I thought that when he came, it would come shooting out like a fire hose or something. His pace quickened, then his whole body tensed up, I braced myself for impact, but nothing like that happened.”
“Men are completely different people when they finish.”
“Well, I waited 19 years to get nailed in the back of some dudes car next to his piles of dirty laundry. It felt like nothing, absolutely no pleasure for me. But I did discover that I am VERY allergic to latex. That was a big surprise.”