People Are Really Good At Bragging About Their Sexual Achievements (10 PICS + 10 GIFS)

Posted in RANDOM       13 Aug 2020       1148       3

“I’ve shared this before, but it was such a unique achievement. Once I was having sex with my girlfriend after taking a shower and I had water stuck in my ear. At the exact same time as I came my ear popped and I felt washed over by such a bizarre and amazing combination of sensations. It’s really hard to describe how good this “eargasm” felt, truly ineffable. I’ve tried many times since then to replicate this, but have not been successful so far.”

 

“I was able to climax once based on the power of thought alone.”

 

“A spring popped out of the bed and cut my leg open. Still finished.”


“I was the first person to ever get my ex to cum. She baked me a cake afterwards.“

 

“Knocked up my wife on our first “try” at having kids. First ultrasounds showed twins. I joke that we have a 200% success rate.”

 

“I ate out my wife once and apparently I was doing too good. She punched me in the forehead out of nowhere and I asked what the hell. She said she was about to black out. I still bring that one up with her.”

Kryrimstercat115

 

“I turned down a threesome with 2 strippers I worked with because I had a crush on a different girl. A few months later one of the strippers tested HIV positive. I’d say dodging a threesome that saved your life (a long time ago) is a pretty good achievement.”

 

“I can yoyo with my penis.”

 

“Getting my boyfriend off while he was on Prozac.”

 

“Conditioning my boyfriend to get a boner when “Benny and the Jets” plays. He was complaining one day he hated the song, so I decided to blow him whenever it played to give him better memories to associate with it. “Benny and the Jets” now makes him a combo of horny and mad.”

 

“Was getting a blowjob while Jeopardy was on tv and got all the answers right.”

 

“I quitted my porn addiction after getting married and I haven’t watched a single porn for over 10 years now.”

 

“40 years. Same partner. Neither tapped out EVEN once. Still AWESOME.”

 

“Had a surprise 3 way with my gf at the time and her best friend. Literally had to go to the bathroom to give myself a mirror pep talk.”

 

“Haven’t slept with my wife in over a year and still had a baby. Apparently sperm can survive for a long time in the uterus and when this happens the color of the babies skin gets darker.”

 

“Receiving a blowjob in a ski gondola with magnificent alpine panorama in front of me. And many friends in the gondola behind having no clue. And my gf going all in because she knew she only had 8 minutes to finish me off.”

 

“Fingered a girl in a treehouse, then came down and got a blowjob from her best friend in a bush.”

 

“Breaking the bed while having sex. Granted the bed was 20+ years old and needed replacement but it still counts.”

 

“My current gf used to tell me she would rarely orgasm in all her previous relationships. She now does every time. But my most memorable one was a Dutch girl on tinder that was around for only 1 night and when we were done she said “holy fuck, yes!” And put up her hand for a high five.”

 

“Having sex with a woman WWWWAAAAYYYYYY out of my league sexually and book smart wise. Then marrying her and knocking her up.”

 




3   Comments ?
5
1.
Drina 2 month s ago
So much fake....
       
-2
2.
CookieDevourer 2 month s ago
Drina,

hey, it's on internet. It happened ok
       
1
3.
Alazama 2 month s ago
my soon to be wife, her sister and then their Mom call that one a triple play M-F's
       
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