1

“I went into the bathroom to wack off undisturbed , as i was about to climax my grandma opened the door , and at the point of no return jizzed on her socks. gonna lock the door from now on.”

2

“I have epilepsy. One night I was going at it in my bed and lo and behold I have a seizure. So naturally my parents hear something and have to come in to me seizing on the bed dick out porn on the computer. Very embarrassing to have to find out from them (since I lose a bit of memory of the event and am unconscious during it). All I can say is it must have been one hell of an orgasm to make me seize.”

3

“When I was like, 13 my younger sister (7 at the time) walked in on me and i threw my pants half on so fast when she looked at me with a face of “…what?” I just said, “Whoa! You scared the pants right off me!” I will never forget this day. Honestly, i think it’s one of my better moments.”

4

“Naive about sex toys, when I was 19 I purchased my first vibrator, a GIANT pink veiny monster dong. I quickly realized there was no way it was going to fit, or work for me at all, and too embarrassed to deal with it, I flung it under my bed, where it was forgotten. Fast forward to a year later, when moving out of my apartment. Walked in to my bedroom to grab a box and found my dad, beet red and silent.

My mattress and box spring upended to move, revealing the humongous glistening monster wang in the center of the floor. Have never spoken of it, but totally awesome for my dad to think that his precious baby girl has a vagina of freakish sideshow proportions. Seriously, it was HUGE.”

5

“When I was about 16, I had a rubber shark toy with a mouth opening that looked about right. I kept thinking about it and finally decided it was time to reel it in. I went in to the bathroom and found that it’s plastic teeth were going to be an issue. So I took some scissors out of a drawer and cut them out of it’s mouth.

It was time. I didn’t realize that there was going to be a suction issue, though. So the next step was to cut the tail fins off of this poor thing. I was in there for a pretty long time and didn’t even consider locking the door. Out of no where, my sister walks in and sees me fapping away with my dick sticking out the tail end of a rubber shark and plastic teeth all over the floor.”

6

“My mom burst in while I was jizzing up a storm, longest 10 seconds of my life as she just stood there frozen as I tried to cover up my obvious boner (shouldn’t it just disappear in such a situation?). Was awkward for like a week. Worse: every time masturbation is mentioned on t.v. she gives me this knowing smirk. Even worse: she makes big penis jokes to my g/f which is the weirdest thing in the fucking world.”

7

“I was jerking off on my bed in my bedroom. I had locked the door, but somehow managed not to close door all the way. My mom had some friends over so I tried to be really quiet. Little to my knowledge, she decided to give her guests a tour of the house. So about five minutes into my jerkfest, the door swings open. My first reaction was to roll off the bed to hide my raging woody. I landed on the floor boner-down. Needless to say, I can now pee around corners.”

8

“I was home alone after a pretty stressful day at work. decided it was a good time to fap so i grab my laptop and load up some class A porn. I was getting way too into it. i started to stand up and pretend i was actually getting some. finish after some time and im very satisfied with myself until i look out the window. I see who i can only assume to be two jehova witnesses. These were two older ladies standing im my driveway staring into my window mouths slightly agape in complete disbelief. they turned around got into their car and i havent seen them around my house since.”

9

“My dad walked downstairs on me with my dick in a vacuum cleaner. don’t really think I need to elaborate on it”

10

“Horrible one here. I was sleeping with a girl and faked it (guys need it too). Went to the bathroom to finish myself off and she caught me and started crying uncontrollably.”

11

“I was using my first ever vibrator in my bedroom when my mom walked in (without knocking) to get my opinion on tiles for the kitchen… In a panic I threw the vibrator under my bed, but it wasn’t off, so as my mom tried to converse with me, a very obvious buzzing noise was going on underneath us. She knew. But, she never said anything.”

12

“I did my thing you know, and I came hard enough for it to land on my shoulder. A few hours passed by and my mom got home, I completely forgot about the stain. Anyways I go downstairs to say hi to her and shes like “What is that on your shirt?” and she touched it. I freaked out and was like “Oh I just wiped my nose on my shirt.” she just nodded it off, but oh did she know.”

13

“Female here. Once pooped so hard I had an orgasm mid-shit. When I got out I was still shaking and recovering from it all. Parents asked why I was acting that way, and either I had to say I came from shitting or the shit was just that good. Went with the latter.”