1

2

"Using hair like friggin’ reins on an irritable horse kills the mood for me. Guys in porn hold into the hair because it keeps it out of the girl’s face for the camera. When you yank my head back like you’re about to waterboard me, I won’t enjoy anything after and you’ll owe me a chiropractor for a month."

3

"If you have nasty calluses, no finger banging. That hurts. You might as well fuck me with sandpaper. Ow."'

4

"Don’t grab the titty so fucking hard bro!"

5

"Excessive dirty talk. It just feels like narration to me."

6

"Choking.

I have had awful bruises from this. So many men seem unable to get off without depriving me of oxygen? Wtf?"

7

"STOP being silent! Please moan, that shits hot as hell"

8

"Don’t expect porn noises. Some girls are loud, some aren’t. if all sexual interactions sounded like porn then it would be much worse living next to your elderly neighbors."

9

"Rubbing the clit like a fucking stain on a shirt. circular motions please."

10

"Thinking we just instantly get in the mood. You walk into the room and think I’ll just immediately want you. No. I’m still thinking about that embarrassing thing I did last week. I need more than three minutes to get into it!"

11

"Stop jackhammering into us right off the bat, warm up to it and get us WET. No, spitting on the pussy doesn’t count."

12

"Spitting on genitals. Just DON’T. Or at least don’t without asking."

13

"Asking what’s the biggest I ever had. Why do you care? This ain’t a dick measuring contest."

14

"I really don’t understand the appeal of dick slapping. Help me understand."

15

"Don’t eat a girl out by immediately spreading her lips, trying to lift up her clitoral hood, and then just stabbing her clit with the tip of your tongue, unless you know beforehand that she’s into that."

16

"I absolutely do not want you to put your dick in my mouth after anal."

"I honestly can’t even believe that shit is done in porn. Like, that’s fucken nasty and I’m down with a lot of stuff but that’s just nasty."

17

"Thinking that we orgasm from two minutes of penetration alone."

18

"Folding me like a cockroach! I don’t want my knees to my ears, yah assholes! That’s only for angles."

19

"I once had a guy using his tongue to flick my nipple repeatedly rapidly like a deranged lizard on steroids."

20

"Slapping the vagina like a used car salesman trying to sell a 1999 corolla"

21

"Calling someone a ‘whore’ or a ‘bitch’ without checking if they’re into it. My reaction will always be, ‘Excuse me, but who the fuck do you think you are? Please remove yourself from my premises.’"

22

"Going faster when you tell them something feels good/you’re gonna cum. Pro tip: Don’t change a goddamn thing. Keep up the same pace."