Former reality TV Star Steph Matto has announced she’s retiring from her $50,000-a-week job of… selling her farts in a jar. The 31-year-old Connecticut native and self-proclaimed "fartrepreneur" had earned a little over $200,000 in her endeavors, selling her jarred toots for $1,000 a bottle.
But one day she had to go to the hospital with intense stomach pressure. Doctors made it clear that what Steph was experiencing wasn’t a stroke or heart attack but very intense gas pains. She was advised to change her diet and to take a gas suppressant medication, which has effectively ended her business.
“I decided to do it on a whim after people requested it a few times. As luck would have it, once I put the jars up for sale, they began to sell like hotcakes.”
“I honestly could not believe the demand. I think a lot of people have this fetish in secret. I began this venture by eating mostly protein muffins, shakes and also hard-boiled eggs.”
“Since then, I’ve decided to branch out a little bit and try some new recipes to keep it exciting. I have been loving black bean salad, onion, ham and pepper omelets, and I have been making a really great protein smoothie with lots of banana.”
“I think that certain foods produce better smelling farts, so I usually tend to go with the smoothies as opposed to things such as cabbage and eggs.”
“I thought I was having a stroke and that these were my final moments. I was overdoing it. I could tell that something was not right that evening when I was lying in bed and I could feel a pressure in my stomach moving upward.”
“It was quite hard to breathe and every time I tried to breathe in I’d feel a pinching sensation around my heart. And that, of course, made my anxiety escalate. “
“I ended up going to the hospital that evening. I didn’t tell my doctors about the farting in the jar but I did tell them about my diet. It was made clear that what I was experiencing wasn’t a stroke or heart attack but very intense gas pains. I was advised to change my diet and to take a gas suppressant medication, which has effectively ended my business.”
“Even though I got backlash, I think it has opened a new door for me. I’m working on digital fart jar artwork at the moment.”
What I really wonder is by what freaking magic someone that stupid don't just forget to breath... paying 1000$ for air is like 3 levels below the most basic task of the reptilian brain. In fact, this is so stupid it MUST be a scam... no one that stupid can actually live past 6 months.
By the way, I sell jars of my queef... get that little fishy smell for a mere 2 grants !