Woman Making $50 Thousand A Week Selling Farts Hospitalized… Because Of Gas Problems (6 PICS + 3 GIFS)

6 Jan 2022


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Former reality TV Star Steph Matto has announced she’s retiring from her $50,000-a-week job of… selling her farts in a jar. The 31-year-old Connecticut native and self-proclaimed "fartrepreneur" had earned a little over $200,000 in her endeavors, selling her jarred toots for $1,000 a bottle.


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But one day she had to go to the hospital with intense stomach pressure. Doctors made it clear that what Steph was experiencing wasn’t a stroke or heart attack but very intense gas pains. She was advised to change her diet and to take a gas suppressant medication, which has effectively ended her business.


“I decided to do it on a whim after people requested it a few times. As luck would have it, once I put the jars up for sale, they began to sell like hotcakes.”

 

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“I honestly could not believe the demand. I think a lot of people have this fetish in secret. I began this venture by eating mostly protein muffins, shakes and also hard-boiled eggs.”

 

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“Since then, I’ve decided to branch out a little bit and try some new recipes to keep it exciting. I have been loving black bean salad, onion, ham and pepper omelets, and I have been making a really great protein smoothie with lots of banana.”

 

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“I think that certain foods produce better smelling farts, so I usually tend to go with the smoothies as opposed to things such as cabbage and eggs.”

 

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“I thought I was having a stroke and that these were my final moments. I was overdoing it. I could tell that something was not right that evening when I was lying in bed and I could feel a pressure in my stomach moving upward.”

 

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“It was quite hard to breathe and every time I tried to breathe in I’d feel a pinching sensation around my heart. And that, of course, made my anxiety escalate. “

 

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“I ended up going to the hospital that evening. I didn’t tell my doctors about the farting in the jar but I did tell them about my diet. It was made clear that what I was experiencing wasn’t a stroke or heart attack but very intense gas pains. I was advised to change my diet and to take a gas suppressant medication, which has effectively ended my business.”

 

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“Even though I got backlash, I think it has opened a new door for me. I’m working on digital fart jar artwork at the moment.”

 


2   Comments ?
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Joanne 2 year s ago
What the fuck is happening to this world? How in the god damn holy fucking fuck is this kind of stupid shit even remotely fucking possible? God damnit all to fucking hell.
       
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Adelaide 2 year s ago
Sooo... 200 highly genetically impaired individuals paid 1000$ for a glass bottle of air (because who believe she actually fart in those bottles).

What I really wonder is by what freaking magic someone that stupid don't just forget to breath... paying 1000$ for air is like 3 levels below the most basic task of the reptilian brain. In fact, this is so stupid it MUST be a scam... no one that stupid can actually live past 6 months.

By the way, I sell jars of my queef... get that little fishy smell for a mere 2 grants !
       
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