“A while back, this girl was blowing me and said something along the lines of, “I want to fuck your dad and see if he’s as big as you.” and then I told her he was still married to my mom and she said, “Oh, nevermind then.”
“When they say they want to eat your hair. Weird. If they say they want to make a specific recipe using your hair, also extremely weird.”
“”Harder, I’m not your mother” is a sentence I don’t want to hear again.”
“You think I can bend that dick with this thick body” Ma’am I rather not have have my dick bent.”
“Imma make you another one of my baby mama’s” he thought it was sexy.. I noped out.”
“When she said she farted in my inhaler.”
“Ssomeone tried to whisper in my ear that they “could feel my cervix”. felt like i was at the clinic lowkey not a great moment.”
“”I’m gonna fuck your fucking fanny off you twat!”
“Using the proper anatomical terms. Saying “I want to suck your engorged penis” isn’t as sexy as she thought it was.”
“Ooh yeah, you’re fucking the farts out of me. Don’t stop!”
“You know, your penis compared to that dude I was bangging before I met you is slightly bigger. I love it!”
“Be a good boy and give your mommy a baby.”
“I want you to drag a strawberry across my stomach, kiss it while looking at me dead in my eye and then shove it up my ass…..no flinch..wink.”
“I’m gonna suck that pussy like a thick milkshake.”