“If you don’t marry me, then congrats and fuck you to your future wife”
"English was not their first language, they just babbled at me in their native tongue for a few minutes until they composed themselves."
"After a mini marathon She gotta outta bed, took two steps toward the bathroom and fell down.
I go “are you ok?”
“I think so, I can’t feel my legs or walk. I came like 8 times.”
The grinches heart grew three sizes that day."
"I had a girl cry once. I asked her what was wrong and she said ”im so happy” that was definitely a first."
"“You have a beautiful cock”.
I pretty much peaked in life with that one, I’m good, my contribution to mankind is complete."
"My girl got me a coffee mug that has 5 stars on it and says “Excellent, would fuck again”"
"“Where on earth did you learn to do that? Holy shit”
After going down on her and bringing her to orgasm several times. I learned the tips and tricks from a instructional video on how to eat pussy really well from Nina hartley. Learned all kinds of new things. It has served me well."
"“Best start to the new year ever” then she high-fived me"
"“You’ve ruined other men for me. I think I’ll have to go back to women.”
For context, she was a summer fling who was moving away soon."
"“Your dick does glorious work.”
That gave me the confidence boost of the century."
“I think you just gave me a new kink”
"“I was wrong, I can’t handle that dick” been 6 years and I still swell with pride over that one hahaha"
“We need a towel next time”
"She said “what the fuck was that” I said “huh” she replied “I am 37 years and I never knew my body was capable of sensations like that… wow, fucking wow” I just laughed"
"After three months with my now wife, she was 29 at the time, she says to me “I’ve had more orgasms in the last three months than the rest of my life combined.”"
"My gf and I have a competition to see which one of us can slap the others ass and say good game first"
"No words. She just kinda fell out the bed and couldn’t get back up again."