Dirty Bits Of NSFW History (15 GIFS)

“Vikings were indeed banging up and down the British coastline like pop culture portrays them. But unlike pop culture imagery of them grabbing women out of their houses and carrying them off to rape, we have writings from the period of British men complaining about Vikings seducing British women using their “unfair” advantage of regular bathing and grooming.“

“The last main line descendant of the Medici family, Gian Gastone de Medici, spent most of the last years of his reign laying in bed being entertained by a group of handsome young men rounded up from the streets of Florence, who performed various sexual acts in his bedroom for his entertainment.

He spent so much time in his gay harem that people rumored he had died since he never appeared in public. Eventually he did show up in public to dismiss rumors of his death. He showed up so drunk he could barely speak, threw up twice, and then had to be physically carried back to his bedchamber.“

“Canadian soldiers had the highest rates of STDs among allied troops in both WWI and WWII.“

“Theres a sound archive of JFK having sex because the FBI thought the girl was a German spy and tried recording the conversation. Well no conversation took place but a lot of fcking did.”

“Warren G. Harding wrote naughty love letters to his mistress in which he refers to his dick by the name “Jerry.”“

“Soldiers in WW1 would deliberately have sex with STD ridden prostitute so they could claim medical leave and be discharged to get out of the war“

“Much conspiracy has been made about JP Morgan choosing not to sail on Titanic at the last minute. But the reality was it was his birthday week and he was having way too much fun with his French mistress. He skipped Titanic because the sex was too good and he wanted to stay.“

“Ancient Roman women would use the oil and sweat scraped from gladiators’ skin as an aphrodisiac.“

“King Philip V of Spain (1683-1746) and his court liked to play a game called El Impávido (The Imperturbable). Basically, a bunch of men bottom-naked were sitting around a table, which was covered by a cloth. A lady was under the table and sucked one of the men’s cock. The rest of the players should guess who was being sucked. If their guess was correct, the other player had to leave the game. If it was wrong, he would leave. The game was won by the player who would cum in the lady’s mouth without the rest of the players noticing.“

“Apparently, the butt plug was originally invented as a rectal dilator marketed as a cure for insanity and constipation.“

“King Charles II had a wig made out of the pubic hair of his mistresses. King George IV attempted to recreate one of his own but died before he could complete it.“

“The “pure, virtuous” medieval woman was expected to be a virgin on her wedding night. However, women (handily) had access to under-the-radar guides on how to fake virginity. One book states: “the day before her marriage, let her put a leech cautiously on her labia; then blood will flow out here, and a little crust will form in that place…in having intercourse the false virgin will (bleed and) deceive the man.”

“The French Président Faure died while cumming with a prostitute in the Elysee.”

“Napoleon’s penis was once on display at NYC’s French art museum and is now in a private collection (maybe a privates collection – it was purchased by a urologist).“

“Ancient Egyptians believed that the god of creation birthed the world by masturbating, and viewed it as a magical act.“