Night Comedy: People Reveal Hilarious Things Said During Sex (25 GIFS)

"I rolled her over to be on top and she said “Autobots roll out” in her best Optimus Prime impersonation. Laughed so hard I went soft, but it was worth it."

"I love you..r pussy. I meant I love your pussy. Still with him too."

"He asked what we should eat later. Mid sex."

"In the middle of fingering me, he pulled his hand out and held up a fist with his thumb between his fingers and said “got your clit!”"

"I had a girlfriend who told me that her one night stand said, “momma” in a baby’s voice right when she took her bra off. He then proceeded to make bottle sucking noises.

I thought it was kinda funny but she said she got redressed and instantly left lol."

"It wasn’t what he said, it was how he said it. I don’t even remember what he was saying, the issue was that he was doing it in Hank Hill’s voice! We had to stop for a second because I was laughing so hard!"

“You’re so lucky you have a boyfriend who keeps going after he’s already cum.”He proceeded to pump once more then roll off of me. The sex lasted about 30 seconds all together.

"That my insides feel like there are so mossy as if they are some rocky walls during monsoons."

"Met a dude for a quick fuck once and when he finished he slapped me on the ass and said “much obliged” which was classy in an old fashioned sort of way."

"My gf once had a little problem with her rear winds. Before I entered, I had the great idea to stare at her and say “if you gotta fart, fart now.” And we stopped the act because she laughed so hard that it was impossible to start any “cardio session”. For 4 days."

"This will always stick in my mind. Having sex with my new girl friend, of a couple of months. She was finishing her law degree. I had a small business. Struggling along.

So while having sex she says “How does it feel to be fucking your lawyer?” I replied “How does it feel to be fucking a poor white?” Had to stop pumping, we were laughing so hard."

"My boyfriend once said “oy vey” seeing my tits. I have never let him live it down."

"After I finished I said with heavy breathing “knees weak. Arms heavy, somethin somethin mom’s spaghetti.” Now she can’t hear that song without laughing."

"I said “I love your cock” while sucking him, which he appeared to love since he came after that, but instead of saying “I’m gonna cum” he said “I’m gonna cock” We laughed so hard."

"That he could have painted the White House with the amount of cum that came out."

"This man literally said “I love your skin so much” in the creepiest fucking way."

“I just remembered I need to a buy a history textbook for my class”

"I told my wife she has “perfect Areolas” back when we were just dating. She still laughs about it to this day."

"One time, I asked my now husband (boyfriend at the time) to talk dirty to me. He got very serious, kissed my neck, and then whispered in my ear, “the dishes in the dishwasher are dirty as fuck rn”"

"When my fiancé and I first started dating we’d watch all the best 90s movies I grew up watching cause she was a joho and never got to as a kid. Ended up watching Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure. And literally right after the credits rolled we started slamming clam.

Right as soon as I finished I said “most excellent” the way bill and Ted did. She snorted and laughed and told me to get off her. Worth it. Still can’t watch any of the bill and Ted movies without her saying most excellent and raising her eyebrows at me."

"He slipped out and said “oopsy doopsy” but still in the husky sexy voice. I lost my shit."

"He said ‘someone’s coming!’ I panicked and said ‘WHO’ thinking it was his mom cause he lived with his family at the time. He then says ‘ME’ and cums. We still laugh about it years later."

"14 years ago, I whispered into this girls ear, “who you gonna call?” She replied, “Ghost busters” while laughing. We are now married with 2 kiddos and 1 on the way."

"A friend once told his girl this joke “the guy tells his girlfriend he is going to giver her 9 inches and make it hurt. So he fucked her 3 times and hit her with a brick.”

One day they have a great sex session and on his third event of the day (of which he is very proud) while he is thrusting she screams “the brick, the brick”. It was classic."

“Can’t believe our wives think we play golf.”