14

"An old friend of mine was at his girlfriend’s (now wife’s) house and was set to meet her parents for the first time, but the parentals were running late. So sexy times ensued.

The two were mid-coitus when they heard the door open and managed to get themselves situated and presentable in record time. The parents suspect nothing, hugs and greetings are made–My buddy goes to shake the father’s hand.

The father says, “woah, sweaty hands. You nervous?”

My buddy goes, “yeah, sorry,” as the realization hits that he just wiped his girlfriend’s…uh…fluids on her father’s hands."

15

"Not really that weird but funny. One of my friends was giving his gf head. He told me that he got too into it and spit on her vagina. She shot up and said “Did you just spit on my vagina? Don’t ever do that again.” Then they continued."

16

"Old mate said he and a girl were messing around, aged 14/15 and she asked if he had anything to put on his cock before a blowjob. You know what that guy brought back?

Marmite. This guy slathered marmite along his dick like it was some morning toast. You know what she did?

Licked and sucked. Licked and sucked like it was a hot summer day’s ice cream.

His feedback? Sticky."

17

"Dude in knew in the army. . . He met this gal and she had some interesting kinks. She asked this guy if he ever wanted to fuck a dead person. . . Then she goes in about how she wants to lay in a tub filled with ice for as long as she could then move herself to the bed. That’s when the dude was supposed to go in and do whatever he wished, then leave.

He said he went and did it. She was ice cold and pale. Didn’t say a word, didn’t move. Didn’t move during or after."

18

"The story I always tell is how it was my girlfriends’ first time doing acid and we decided to take a huge hike to the top of this mountain near her dad’s property. We hiked for what felt like hours until we decided to go to pound town. We were getting really freaky at this point, then all of a sudden we heard a car honk. We weren’t near the top at all, we were 10 ft from the road behind a bush."

19

"My grandpa told me this. This probably took place in the late 1950s. He goes with his friend over to this girl’s apartment. The friend ends up going to the bedroom with the girl.

Now the roommate of that girl is in the bath. She calls out to my grandpa to come in. They chat for a bit and then she asks him to take a cup and pour toilet water on her. So he does it.

Then after that she asks him to just piss all over her. So he does it then he kinda just left.

God rest his soul.."

20

"One friend and her partner enjoyed using food a lot in the bedroom. We found out one evening that they sometimes use trifle as part of their escapades. Her partner would ‘fill her up’ and then proceed to eat it out of her. I couldn’t look at her the same afterwards."

21

"Back when Snapchat was new and popping my best friend sent me a couple videos of himself fucking his girlfriend from behind. I think maybe three 10 second videos. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because I think school finished 2 hours prior and we were close enough to do dumb stuff like that.

Then a month later he sent me another Snapchat with his full cock and balls out, holding it like a trophy. I was confused as shit, but I don’t think I responded.

The next day I told him why he sent it to me and his faced dropped… he said he just finished shaving his balls and meant to send it to his girlfriend, then said no wonder she didn’t respond.

It became a funny core memory between us."

22

"A friend told me that a guy from his work was doing anal with some woman and he rolled his foreskin back when he was done and found a piece of sweetcorn.

I’ve never forgotten it, it’s disgusting but always makes me laugh."

23

"My old coworker told me about how one night he got good and drunk and called over some girl he would hook up with occasionally. He was doing her doggy when he randomly got hungry.

There was a can of Pringles on the night stand so he dumped it on her back and ate chips off her while railing her."

24

"My buddy moved into a new apartment and ended up having a FWB while he was there. He told me one night they got blackout drunk.

He came to completely butt ass naked face down handcuffed in her bed. She then proceeded to pour hot candle wax onto his butt hole.

Told me he was pulling candle wax out of his butt hairs for next couple days and had to take a little break from drinking."

25

"When I used to smoke weed this dealer told me he was shagging his bird the night before and the johnny came off inside her so he went down to fish it out but ended up finding two.

He pulled them out and turned the light on and one was filled with spunk. It turned out she’d been cheating on him with his next door neighbor for 2 years straight."