"A friend of mine confessed this story once. In senior year of high school he invited his girlfriend over while his parents were out and they wound up doing it doggy style on his parents’ bed. His girlfriend had been feeling a bit sick that day but had decided not to tell him in case it ruined the mood.
She wound up regretting that decision a few minutes in when, ah, something ruptured and she wound up spraying diarrhea all over him. He started screaming, she started screaming.
And then his parents walked in.
“You must have gotten in big trouble,” I’d said to him.
“No,” he said, “without anyone saying a word we got off the bed, got in the shower, our parents put the bedding in the washer, my girlfriend got dressed and went home, and we never spoke of the incident again.”"
"A guy got his dick broke.
Basically dude was so eager to have sex he tried to jam it in to the hilt in one stroke. She was hurting he was screaming because she tightened up and was not wet due to a lack of foreplay which caused him to either be stoped or bad angle but he screams runs to the bathroom. She goes to check on him and his penis was swelling and turning dark . Her parents come home she is panicking she tells her mom the dad loads this kid into his truck saying he is driving him to the er.
The mom calls dudes parents and they arrive to the er. The dude is missing a week of school and every one of course knows why because his younger brother finds it hilarious and is telling everyone who will listen.
The girl gets the nickname cock-breaker and the dude is called boomerang."
"A woman I know keeps a tiny vial of her boyfriend’s nut on a necklace she’s always wearing. She has done this with every partner she’s had since early high school, super into occult/witchy stuff so I assume it’s something related to that mixed with a kink"
"I went out drinking with a friend at a bar listening to a band and he was talking to this girl and at the end of the night he said he will get a ride from her.
I stopped by his house the next day and he was living with his dad at the time and I walked into the house and the dad was sitting there at the kitchen table with this funny look on his face and he told me how he was woken up at 4am by a loud noise and he walks into the bathroom and this girl is naked hanging from the shower curtain rod and his son is eating her ass.
It’s been over 15 years now and he is still known as the ass eater"
"I had a friend I used to work with telling me about this girl he was dating. He asked “Have you ever been with a girl who likes it rough?” I laughed and said no. He went on to tell me they were having sex and in a doggy style position.
She asked him to hit her, so he obliged and smacked her ass. She said “No, hit me”. He took this as a challenge and smacked her ass even harder. Once again she said hit me. He stated he stopped, looked around the room as if he was being set up and gave her the slightest of rabbit punches in her ribs. She then moaned “Yes!”, in which he replied with additional harder punches.
He said it was some of the weirdest sex he had ever had"
"Guy had sex with his girlfriend and her 18 year old daughter in a threesome. Women openly admitted to it happening. I can’t imagine the conversation leading to, want me and my daughter at the same time?
That’s just too out there."
"One friend told me he knew a couple that loved to role-play as actual bull and cow and she would go “moo” a lot during the act. Some people have some weird stuff going on."
"Friend of mine hooked up with a girl. Her demand was that he put a dishcloth in his ass. He did. When they were having sex she asked him to tell her exactly when he was about to cum. He did… she unexpectedly pulled out the cloth when he was cumming and he shit all over the bed.
He went to the shower in panic and came back to her smearing the shit over her body and face. Classic case of never stick your dick in crazy."
"I have two. One guy I know and his ex were really into anal, but ran out of lube, and they both said to themselves, “Butter is slippery!” And they buttered that corn, and got to work.
Second, a different friend and his wife were drunk with another friend and his wife. They started having sex next to each other in their living room. Then my friend pulls the other guy out of his partner and starts jacking him off, he does the same to him, for like 30 seconds, they both just said, “This is weird.” And went back to having sex with their respective wives."
"My brother had a one night stand after college. Girl fell asleep on his couch and shit all over the couch. She wasn’t there when he got up the next morning, but left a mess for him to deal with."
"Buddy of mine met a girl at a bar. Went back to her place. She had a room made up like a baby’s room but adult sized stuff, like crib and everything. She had him put on an adult sized diaper and act like a baby. He totally went along with it because he didn’t care as long as he was getting laid."
"I have a friend who got with an emo horse girl. Said she choked him til he literally went purple.Safe to say he is no longer with said emo horse girl."
"So my buddy once gloatingly told me about this hookup he had with a girl he had been trying to sleep with for a while. He told me they had sex in his car, two strokes in he pulled out and came on the floor of his own car without her noticing, put it back in and kept going. I was thinking “damn bro weird brag but aight”."
"An old friend of mine was at his girlfriend’s (now wife’s) house and was set to meet her parents for the first time, but the parentals were running late. So sexy times ensued.
The two were mid-coitus when they heard the door open and managed to get themselves situated and presentable in record time. The parents suspect nothing, hugs and greetings are made–My buddy goes to shake the father’s hand.
The father says, “woah, sweaty hands. You nervous?”
My buddy goes, “yeah, sorry,” as the realization hits that he just wiped his girlfriend’s…uh…fluids on her father’s hands."
"Not really that weird but funny. One of my friends was giving his gf head. He told me that he got too into it and spit on her vagina. She shot up and said “Did you just spit on my vagina? Don’t ever do that again.” Then they continued."
"Old mate said he and a girl were messing around, aged 14/15 and she asked if he had anything to put on his cock before a blowjob. You know what that guy brought back?
Marmite. This guy slathered marmite along his dick like it was some morning toast. You know what she did?
Licked and sucked. Licked and sucked like it was a hot summer day’s ice cream.
His feedback? Sticky."
"Dude in knew in the army. . . He met this gal and she had some interesting kinks. She asked this guy if he ever wanted to fuck a dead person. . . Then she goes in about how she wants to lay in a tub filled with ice for as long as she could then move herself to the bed. That’s when the dude was supposed to go in and do whatever he wished, then leave.
He said he went and did it. She was ice cold and pale. Didn’t say a word, didn’t move. Didn’t move during or after."
"The story I always tell is how it was my girlfriends’ first time doing acid and we decided to take a huge hike to the top of this mountain near her dad’s property. We hiked for what felt like hours until we decided to go to pound town. We were getting really freaky at this point, then all of a sudden we heard a car honk. We weren’t near the top at all, we were 10 ft from the road behind a bush."
"My grandpa told me this. This probably took place in the late 1950s. He goes with his friend over to this girl’s apartment. The friend ends up going to the bedroom with the girl.
Now the roommate of that girl is in the bath. She calls out to my grandpa to come in. They chat for a bit and then she asks him to take a cup and pour toilet water on her. So he does it.
Then after that she asks him to just piss all over her. So he does it then he kinda just left.
God rest his soul.."
"One friend and her partner enjoyed using food a lot in the bedroom. We found out one evening that they sometimes use trifle as part of their escapades. Her partner would ‘fill her up’ and then proceed to eat it out of her. I couldn’t look at her the same afterwards."
"Back when Snapchat was new and popping my best friend sent me a couple videos of himself fucking his girlfriend from behind. I think maybe three 10 second videos. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because I think school finished 2 hours prior and we were close enough to do dumb stuff like that.
Then a month later he sent me another Snapchat with his full cock and balls out, holding it like a trophy. I was confused as shit, but I don’t think I responded.
The next day I told him why he sent it to me and his faced dropped… he said he just finished shaving his balls and meant to send it to his girlfriend, then said no wonder she didn’t respond.
It became a funny core memory between us."
"A friend told me that a guy from his work was doing anal with some woman and he rolled his foreskin back when he was done and found a piece of sweetcorn.
I’ve never forgotten it, it’s disgusting but always makes me laugh."
"My old coworker told me about how one night he got good and drunk and called over some girl he would hook up with occasionally. He was doing her doggy when he randomly got hungry.
There was a can of Pringles on the night stand so he dumped it on her back and ate chips off her while railing her."
"My buddy moved into a new apartment and ended up having a FWB while he was there. He told me one night they got blackout drunk.
He came to completely butt ass naked face down handcuffed in her bed. She then proceeded to pour hot candle wax onto his butt hole.
Told me he was pulling candle wax out of his butt hairs for next couple days and had to take a little break from drinking."
"When I used to smoke weed this dealer told me he was shagging his bird the night before and the johnny came off inside her so he went down to fish it out but ended up finding two.
He pulled them out and turned the light on and one was filled with spunk. It turned out she’d been cheating on him with his next door neighbor for 2 years straight."