Strip Club Chronicles: Unveiling The Most Chaotic And Epic Happenings (19 GIFS)

"A dildo strapped to a remote control car. The audience members got to drive it around in to some “tunnels.”"

"I went into one of the ones in Bangkok without any pre-existing awareness of what I was in for. A girl then squatted over my drink and dropped a frog from her p*ssy into the drink.

I was kinda annoyed as I didn’t feel comfortable drinking my drink, but it definitely blew my mind."

"Dancer comes over to where we’re sitting in front of the stage. Tells us to give her a dollar to see a trick. Lays down with her head off the stage facing us. Folds the dollar bill hotdog style, winks at us, and throws her legs over her head. She proceeds to delicately place the dollar over her vagina and queef it into the air. Like a child at a carnival I light up and ask her to do it again. I spent 6 dollars watching that trick and do not regret a thing."

"Bachelor party in Ft. Worth in the 80s. Dude runs out of cash and starts writing $1 checks for dancers. Two weeks later bank calls him at work, asking if young lady with stack of $1 checks with “for love” in the memo line is legit. He was drunk and forgot about them until then. The look on his face when he realized is etched in my memory forever."

"We were in Vegas, got a ride from someone who’s job was to drive people to and from the club. We were ready to leave at like 3 AM, so went outside and texted our driver that we were ready, and realized his car was still there. A minute later he walks out of the club with a Tupperware full of lasagna and says “you can never find a microwave in these places”."

"We went one night and there was a guy we worked with there. We didn’t go to the strip club with him, he happened to be there alone.

There was this hefty girl on the stage, buddy walks over casually and lays down face up on the stage.

Folds a 20 and puts it on his nose.

Big Bertha walks over, squats down and grabs it off his face with her snatch.It was amazing and disturbing."

"I walked into a strip club in a small town a long time ago. No one was there and there was no music playing. When I made enough noise that they heard someone was there, a pregnant 50+ yo woman walked out, popped in a Nickelback cd and started to dance. The cd started skipping and I left."

"A mate walked up to the bar and told the staff he was a health inspector and could see smears on the pole, which he claimed was a reportable offense. Next minute two bouncers are scrubbing the pole down."

"Showed up on a weeknight for a couple of pints with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. It was around 11:30 and we asked to settle up and call it a night.

The server came over and said “You guys are leaving now? Ok, but The show’s about to start…”

Me and my buddy looked at each other and looked back at her and asked “What show?” She smiled and pointed to the stage and we saw a crew of surly men hauling a large kiddie pool and two 55 Gal drums labelled KY Jelly up onto the stage.

It was an elimination rules KY wrestling tournament starring the strippers and it was glorious. One petite girl was all in. Suplexing other combatants into submission. We stayed until the tournament was over. I was a Wreck the next day, but it was SOOOO worth it.

10/10 — 5 Stars – would recommend."

"Her legs are spread and she’s kinda slapping it, someone asked “what do you feed that thing?” Without hesitation she said “peanut butter and jelly!”"

"The best thing I saw at a strip club was a group of 5 women with ages ranging between 20-50 all took their tops off and laid on the stage to tip the dancer. Seeing stripper boobs is nice. Maybe even boring after a while. Seeing regular girls boobs out of the blue? That’s amazing."

"My friend got kicked in the face after laughing because the stripper was doing her thing to the song by the bloodhound gang called “The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.”

Full 360 no scope spin on the pole and BAM! Right to the fucking chin. That’s a core memory right there."

"I saw a chick go down on another chick hanging upside down on a pole. That was neat."

"Philippines: all the girls cleared out, and this one girl came out with this gossamer gown and obvious professional ballet and dance training, and performed to Alanis Morissette’s “Uninvited”. The entire club was silent and rapt for four minutes."

"Hit up a strip club in Atlanta with three friends back in 1996. There happened to be an Asian porn star making an appearance. After her dance, it was announced that she would rub her tits in your face for a $20 donation. My best friend decided to get in on this. He was the 4th or 5th guy to go up to the stage, the exchange was made, tits were rubbed in his face, and he turned around and took two steps before tripping over a chair leg and falling flat on his face.

The entire place exploded in laughter. Even the dancer was dying. It literally looked like he was so overwhelmed by the experience that he collapsed. I’ve have never seen such a red face in all my years! I’m sure he’s probably forgotten about it by now. I’ll have to remember to dust it off and share it an appropriate moment in the future. After all, what are best friends for!?"

"My boss and I went to a strip club while out of town on business. There was also a huge trade show going on in town and this place was packed. On the tables there were menus listing extras and price. Started with table dance $20 and the last was the Ultimate Fantasy for $140. I stopped a dancer and asked what the Ultimate Fantasy was. She said you and 6 other guys pitch in $20 each and we’ll show you. It took less than 5 minutes and me, 6 other dudes, 2 strippers and a bouncer were headed to the back. Inside this room was a heart shaped bed with a side table. On that table was a huge purple dildo. For $140 we watched one stripper f*ck the other stripper with the purple strap on for the duration of two songs. Unbelievable."

"I once had a stripper take a match from my book of matches, split the cardboard at the non-fiery end, sat in front of me and put one foot on each of my shoulders. She then wet the split end with her tongue, stuck it to her cl*t, lit it with another match and had me come close to light my cigarette. She was just lovely too. Ah, Montreal as a teenager going over the border from the US in the late 80s…"

"On Halloween I saw a guy dressed as Lord Farquaad on the upper VIP level just looking down pretentious. Pretty funny."

"Two dancers in a portable shower. One must have been fond of the booger sugar. She farted and created a Willy Wonka chocolate shower. Cleared the place out. Good times."