NSFW Secrets People Are Proud Of (18 GIFS)

"I got paid .08 to write porn titles. I got paid over a hundred dollars and called one of the funniest people these porn people have ever met. I was a porn title machine"

"I prefer to see a soft cock rather than hard one. I like to watch it get hard as I work my magic."

"At one office where I worked they had white noise speakers in the ceiling. One of them was right over my desk. Supposedly it made nearby conversations harder to hear and therefore less distracting, but I hated the constant hiss. One night I was there late when the white noise got turned off, and right away I felt muscles relax in my neck and at the back of my skull. I felt so much better instantly – it was like a miracle.

Everybody else was gone, so I put a chair on my desk, got up and popped the ceiling tile next to the speaker. I just meant to pull off wires, but they were soldered, so I got wire cutters (it was a tech company) and snipped those bitches. Cut about a foot of wire off each one so they couldn’t be reattached without running new wire. Then I did the same to the four other nearest ones.

Over the next few weeks I noticed people congregating near my desk to have conversations and hang out – apparently it was the new feel-good zone. I didn’t mind, conversation wasn’t distracting to me at all. People seemed to be in a better mood."

"I gave my husband a blow job the other night, and he said he was daydreaming about it all the next day.

Yeah, felt pretty awesome to hear that."

"We bought a chiseled Chad sex doll and it has heightened our sex life immensely. We are in our 60’s and it has been pretty damn fun."

"When I was in high school, I lived with my grandparents in a different state for a semester. I met this guy during fckn picture day I believe and we exchanged numbers. Eventually we started dating, and texting..but on the low because my grandparents were strict af. He played baseball but couldn’t go to any of his games..because grandparents.

Anyway, fast forward to final exams..I found out I was exempt from a couple of them and didn’t have to go to school until 11. I knew my grandparents wouldn’t really care and would still make me catch the bus to go. I went to the bus stop, had a friend of mine who had a car pick me up, and take me to my bf’s house instead. It was a morning full of fun and fucking. When it got close to 11, his cousin dropped us off at school and I caught the bus back home like nothing happened. Did the same thing later on that week..except his aunt was home, we snuck in the bathroom and had a quickie on the counter.

Even after I moved away, we would fuck whenever I came in town. Maybe the best dick I’ve ever had..sigh"

"I didn’t have a plunger so I used a dildo to pop out the dent in the hood of my car. And I never told my husband how I fixed the dent, just that I did."

"If you lay down on your bed with your head hanging off upside down you sound more congested to sell being sick more."

"I used to send e-mails with random stuff written in them with white font. Until one day a friend who had the habbit of highlighting text with the cursor while reading. Then he went through all of those.

I stopped after"

"I’m a brat, so I secretly get on my husband’s nerves so he’ll fuck me harder later"

"Can do the helicopter impressively fast."

"That I have a fetish for giant turtleneck sweaters. Like monster, chunky, mohair sweaters with massive collars. I get absolutely bricked the second I see a woman wearing any amount of wool.

I used to be ashamed of it, now I embrace it."

"My wife and I will never tell our daughter she was conceived during BDSM sex"

"That I slept with my friends mom after a party at his house."

"I can orgasm without touch."

"One of my first sexual encounters experiences with a man was at work, on the clock, when I was alone closing. It started about five minutes to close.I noticed he wasn’t wearing underwear, he noticed me notice, he asked to use the bathroom, I asked if he needed any help in there."

"Got a threesome blowjob in highschool with gf and her friend. Ended up marrying the friend."

"I had sex, once."