1

“I used to work for a phone sex hotline, so it’s not quite the same, but man, have you ever tried to describe making somebody into soup and then eating that soup without laughing, but ya gotta somehow make it. . .sexy? It’s not easy. It’s really not.”

2

“Client wanted me to eat spicy foods the whole day until I came to him. He asked if I wanted to shit in his mouth and fart in his face. I refused to shit in his mouth but he gave me 400 extra if I farted in his face so I did it. He then got tired and told me I could go home even though he paid for the whole night. When I asked my coworkers about him they told me he always tries it with the new ones but no one ever did it”

3

“First call I ever did was for a guy asking for a “quasi-GFE”. He was late 40’s, terribly unattractive, socially inept and had a glass eye. He invited me to his place where he put on his favourite movie, Dante’s Peak, while I sat on the floor playing with his cat. After the movie he nervously invited me to the bedroom. While removing my shirt he suddenly blurted out, “I haven’t had a girlfriend since junior high!!” and then came in his pants.He then put me in a cab, handed me $400 and sent me on my way.So, not exactly wild. But memorable.”

4

“Dude paid me 3000 to piss on him, peg him, tie him up and leave a dildo in his ass, the take a photo and make a post on craigslist (back when personals was still a thing)with the photo and the address and room # of the hotel he was in. Leaving the door unlocked so whoever saw the ad could come in and have their way (I didn’t have to stay for that)”

5

“i had a guy pay me to watch me paint my toes once. i mean i think he was paying me for other things too, but never actually got to that because i apparently did a very excellent job painting them”

6

“I once had somebody that wanted to watch me with somebody else. Doesn’t seem like a bad request until his idea of somebody else was his own reflection in the mirror. He wanted to stand in front of a full body sized mirror and watch me drizzle whipped cream and chocolate syrup over his reflection and lick it off before making love to it.

Btw, this was also his way of cheating on his wife without actually cheating. We never made any physical contact. Easiest $800 I’ve ever made.”

7

“Not me, but my friend is an escort. She said a client once paid her triple to stick her face in the toilet and give her a swirly while he had sex with her. Said she liked it more than she expected”

8

“This guy would regularly buy cups of my piss. $100 a cup, which isn’t a bad deal at all. I was getting to the point where I wasn’t dealing with him as much anymore though, because he was asking me to meet him at his house, etc. And I wasn’t comfortable with that.

So he comes in one night and is like, “so I want something to eat.” I was like, “I need you to be really clear on what you mean.” And he requests for me to shit in a cup and then spoon feed it to him.”

9

“Had a guy.. He was about 400 pounds come in, strip down to his lacy black panties and just wanted to dry hump my ass for 30 minutes. He was a super cool client actually.”

10

“So I never wen thru with it out of fear for getting murdered but this guy on Grindr offered me 15 dollars per fart that he sucked out of my asshole. I am lactose intolerant and it could have been the best night of his life.”

11

“Didn’t want sex only for me to walk around on all fours meowing and licking my hands while he wanked over it….”

12

“I’m not an escort. But I did know a woman who was escorting many years ago. She told me this.

She was paid $1000 AUD to shit in the corner of the room while the man wore a nappy (diaper) with a huge rattle, after she shit he would go over and smell it and start running around the room. And he would repeat this for 30mins.Our brains work so differently.”

13

“I got asked to insert my feet into a guy’s ass…. politely declined that job.”

14

“A guy I last saw a month ago would quote movies while fucking. He was also HUGE. Both his dick and his weight.

We would be fucking and he’d say things like “I am the danger!”/”Chaos isn’t a pit, it’s a ladder”I’d have to press my head into the pillow not to die laughing. Once for the entire hour he just had me repeat “You’re a big guy” to which he’d reply “For You”, which he told me is from the Dark Knight Rises.

I kind of miss him, regular, paid well and fucking hilarious.”