The Dumbest Words Ever Spoken During Sex (20 GIFS)

Posted in NSFW 11 Oct 2024 1031

“15 seconds remaining.”

"I was bit older than most people when I lost my virginity, so naturally had a fair bit of baggage about it and it seemed like a pretty big deal at the time. When the deed was finally done, I said to the woman I was with “I was in you, wasn’t I?”. I just wanted to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I was no longer a virgin."

"Was my first time trying acid. Something about it made me last forever. She ended up giving me head and when I finally blew probably the biggest load of my life(legit felt like my dick was a garden hose), I somehow said “damn, you sure know how to treat a lady”"

"The guy I was dating and I were having sex for the first time, and it was insanely good. I meant to tell him “I love your cock”, but could barely even think straight and accidentally said “I love you”. I was momentarily horrified but he immediately said “I love you too”.

We had only been dating a month and definitely were not in love with each other yet.

He’s my husband now, so I guess it all worked out."

"Accidentally hit my head on the headboard and said, “Ow, my spleen”.

To this day I have no idea why. It was completely involuntary and made no fucking sense."

"She still denies saying that 18 years later"

"I’d have to say mine was “oh dude.. oh dude, that feels so good, Bro” to a girl"

"One time i saw myself in the mirror and gave myself a cheesy thumbs up to which i hear her say, “Really?” and we both cracked up."

"I’m a girl and I said ” can I suck your Nipples or is it a man thing “. lolllll I hate this memory"

"I was eating some pussy and the girl started moaning and said my name. I literally stop, lift my head and say “What?”"

"Not me, but a friend of mine was REALLY drunk one night. He and his girl were going at it doggy, when he lets a fart rip. He said the only thing that came to his mind was to yell out “Jet Power!” as he attempted to continue."

"I remember it fondly, I was with my first girlfriend and we were fooling around on her sofa, kissing and roaming hands; all that malarkey. She then sits me back, straddles me, and removes her top.

“Oh good heavens”.

I FUCKING SAID ‘OH GOOD HEAVENS’!!!!

Fucks sake, safe to say I left as a sad blueballed boy that day."

"“Fuck it blast off” after finishing in about 30 seconds with the girl I was dating at the time, it was our first time having sex together.

Side note: That girl gave the best head I’ve ever had, never had anything close to it and probably never will again. She is now dating an NFL player, he’s the highest paid player ever at his position. He is elite as his craft and she is elite at hers; game recognizes game I guess."

"I shouted “I WANT A KEBAB” at my wife once.

She had been edging and milking me for 90mins. I was tied down, to the point of no being able to move, things were inside me and I was having a jolly good time. The last few mins of constant edging then denial and pressure just before anything happened drove me insane. The only thing I could do to remain sane was thinking about the food I wanted after and reciting my name and date of birth to myself.

When she finally let me…. arrive…… it was so intense and all my brain could shout was that I wanted a kebab."

"I’m on top of my wife in missionary. All of a sudden I screamed “Get out of my ass!!!” My wife gave me the most confused look. My dog had started sniffing my literal asshole."

"Her: “where are you?” (Meaning how close are you to cumming)

Me: “uhh, inside you?”

We both had a good laugh which did unfortunately kill the mood"

"For some reason, I whispered “Kim Jong” and then moaned quite loudly “UNNNNGGGHHHH”. Certain products had been consumed in advance of this happening."

"Going down on my wife… And she is talking dirty like saying ‘do like that!?’ and for some reason I say one word… ‘acceptable’. She bursts out laughing and so do I after I realize what I said. Anyways… We needed some time to rally…"