The Worst Things People Ever Said During Sex (17 GIFS)

Posted in NSFW 11h 442

“I found my Jolly Rancher!”

"My GF and I both often confuse ownership of body parts.I want you to put my… I mean your cock… in your… I mean my… oh forget it."

“I shouldn’t have ordered enchiladas”

"She did a pretty good impersonation of my mother. That was shrinkage."

“How big are you compared to your dad? Last thing I wanted then and there was to be thinking of my dad’s schlong."

"He said to me as we switched to doggy style, in a mario voice, “lets-a put it in-a like dis!”. It was a bit of a turn off…"

"That’ll do pig, that’ll do."

"Are you in yet?"

"She didn’t know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada."

"Her: “You should take your boxers off.”Me: ‘Uh, they are off.’I guess my legs are that hairy."

“sorry, I need to stop. I’m going to be sick.”

"I wish I could say this was mine, but it was shared between two of my gay friends.You know how sometimes in the heat of the moment you’re not sure whether you want to say “fuck me harder” or “who’s your daddy”?Don’t ever, ever say “fuck me like you fuck your daddy”."

"My first time having sex.“When my friend has sex he thinks about cats, I’m thinking about airplanes.”Only had sex with her once thankfully. My awkwardness is still quite apparent in bed."

"A friend of mine sang ‘Eye of the Tiger’ at full volume at the point of climax for a dareTruly he is now the stuff of legend"

"Seacrest out!"

“This was my worst first time ever.”

"Once my boyfriend was taking off my dress, but my arm got caught in one of the straps so it was awkwardly pinned to my side… I roared, flailed my forearm and said I was a T-Rex… After the laughter subsided, we continued to get it on, so all was well.Actually, come to think of it, that might have been the best thing I’ve ever said during sex."