We are not quite sure what these celebrities were thinking when they decided to have these strange photos taken of them.

Jennifer Garner

1

Photographer: "Look, Jen, I know this looks a lot like the SNICK couch but it's all we could find on short notice. You look great!"

Christina Aguilera

2

Photographer: "Christina, honey: when I look at you I immediately think Futuristic Indian Princess. Now get in that half of a glass bowl and pretend you're a kitty-cat."

Julia Roberts

3

Photographer: "Julia, you're gorgeous! The only thing that could make you sexier is a genie costume. Let's do this."

Ryan Gosling

4

Photographer: "Didn't you see Garden State? It's cool, trust me. This look made Zach Braff go from a goofy television doctor to a goofy indie actor practically overnight."

Sharon Stone

5

Photographer: "A good hat, exposed shoulders, and mom jeans never go out of style... haven't you ever had Glamour Shots done before?"

Cameron Diaz

6

Photographer: "Cameron, I want you to spread eagle on top of this stool ...but with your knees bent so we can keep it PG-13. But don't look like you think you look sexy right now, I want your face to look completely blasé. Magnificent!"

Jennifer Connelly

7

Photographer: "Sorry, Jen. We could only find a leather jacket in the size XXL... but we think you can make it work."

Tiffiani Amber Theissen

8

Photographer: "It's a tasteful nude, out here in this field. But let's push the envelope just a tad by putting a dandelion in your teeth."

Eric Bana

9

Photographer: "Here's a flower. Do your thing."

Pink

10

Photographer: "But the jacket matches your hair! Don't worry, the pattern is very in right now!"

Celine Dion

11

Photographer: "Persian rugs are always elegant."

Angelina Jolie

12

Photographer: "Trust me, blue eye shadow NEVER goes out of style."

Sarah Jessica Parker

13

Photographer: "I'm sorry, but where the fuck did that bottle of Perrier just come from?"

Jessica Simpson

14

Photographer: "When I heard Jessica Simpson I immediately thought big orange padded room. Do you like it?"

David Duchovny

16

Photographer: "Hi, David? I'm the photographer here for the Architectural Digest shoot — is this a bad time? Do you mind getting down from that spherical ball? Okay, um, we can reschedule, you have my card. By the way, GREAT pants."

Sarah Michelle Gellar

17

Photographer: "Yes, I want everyone on this shoot shirtless and in overalls. Gay undertones? I don't see it."

Natalie Portman

19

Photographer: "Did you see the shoot I did with Jordan Catalano? Let's put your hair up and I want you to hold this black plastic tarp. Have fun with it. Great!"

Jennifer Aniston

20

Photographer: "We'll put you in homely housewife clothes, it'll be great!"

Naomi Watts

21

Photographer: "You're in a car crash but you're fine because you're wearing a helmet that ironically is made from shattered glass. It's BRILLIANT!"

Melissa Joan Hart

22

Photographer: "Instead of curling your hair or crimping your hair, let's do a combination of both — but let's just do it to certain strands of your hair, not ALL of it."

Uma Thurman

23

Photographer: "Did you see that photoshoot I did with Melissa Joan Hart?"

Sandra Bullock

24

Photographer: "You're a topless hippie! Oh, I'm sorry about the jeans. All we could find were this pair of JNCO jeans so we tried to make them look a little more dated. It's fine, nobody's gonna look anywhere other than your chest, I promise."

Will Smith

25

Photographer: "We need more rings."

Liv Tyler

26

Photographer: "We don't have any mirrors here, so Liv, just put the daisies wherever you want and hopefully it works out."

Heather Graham

27

Photographer: "I see a retro-futuristic version of Poison Ivy in you. Now lean up against that chain fence and run with it."

Rose McGowan

28

Photographer: "Nothing is sexier than a topless girl making a fishface."

Jake Gyllenhaal

29

Photographer: "Have you ever heard of Simple Plan? No? Well, we're going to style you like a Canadian pop punk group anyway."

Madonna

30

Photographer: "If you insist on demonstrating your new hobbies, Madge, must it be the one where you swallow and regurgitate your pet goldfish Timmy? All right, then let's at least have you pose out by the pool..."

Thora Birch

31

Photographer: "Okay, Thora. I want you to stay still and pretend you're a blow-up sex doll."

Kate Beckinsale

32

Photographer: "The hair, it's like a bun. But instead of wrapping it completely, let's spread it all around your head so it looks like there's a giant spider about to consume her it!"

Anna Paquin

33

Photographer: "You've won a freaking Oscar so I know you can at least pretend that you're happy so, SMILE!"

Kirsten Dunst

34

Photographer: "There's no way you disfigured posing like that, promise."

Fiona Apple

35

Photographer: "You're in the middle of the jungle and you're terrified. TERRIFIED! You'll also have perfectly-manicured black fingernails that are nearly two inches long, but it's for the sake of fashion, so it'll work."

Jim Carrey

36

Photographer: "Hi Jim, here's a stool."

Christina Ricci

37

Photographer: "You're on Mars, in a space egg."

Leonardo DiCaprio

38

Photographer: "Who's Beavis? I don't see the resemblance."

Gillian Anderson

39

Photographer: "Long black velvet gloves always imply that a woman has class."

Winona Ryder

40

Photographer: "I know you're bummed that you got caught shoplifting, but please just sit over by that fire, drag the flowers into the shot, and pretend like you're happy."

Demi Moore

41

Photographer: "Crimped hair and bows everywhere. Yeah, even the ears."