1

“I was getting a hand job from my girl (now ex) and ngl i just fell asleep. I was really tired from the night before, and the handjob wasn’t that good either. She noticed when i started snoring.”

-unique_name_I_swear

2

“While having car sex had a very nice elderly woman pull over to make sure we were ok.”

-Slothstronaught420

3

“Right before he finished, he pulled out and, instead of coming, he peed all over me. Complete accident. We were both incredibly alarmed, but I went straight into damage control mode and calmly cleaned up, and comforted him because I’m sure it had to be completely humiliating to accidentally pee on your partner… Later when I was alone I let myself be grossed out and feel sorry for myself lol”

-sunshinesoldiers

4

“Someone came in my throat and it came out of my nose”

-michaelarp12

5

“Anal, she pooped on my dick, I puked on her back”

-NordyNed

6

“While we were in the middle of things I got a REALLY bad leg cramp so I started saying “oh my god, oh my god, oh my god” and he thought I was having an orgasm and kept going. I accidentally kicked him in the face trying to get my legs out from under him. Sorry Sam!”

-whatheeverlivingfuck

7

“Broke my pinky as I was shifting my position during missionary. My girlfriend (wife now) and I both heard it crack but I was so into it that I finished, went to the washroom, reset the finger and never even went to the hospital. It healed on its own but there’s still a bit of a crook to the right.”

-superstarbillygraham

8

“I was eating her out. When she began to climax, she had her thighs on my shoulders with her legs up. She began squeezing my neck really hard. Not wanting to ruin her orgasm I kept going until I passed out from her choking me out like that. She thought she killed me. I was only out for like a minute but to her it was like five.”

-xXx_TheSenate_xXx

9

“I once passed out mid climax. I didn’t eat that day and I just collapsed on her. She thought I straight up died on her. Wasn’t too serious but was definitely not fun.”

-typicalthrowaway24

10

“One time during sex the cat decided he needed pets and laid on my chest and stared at my husband.”

-mama202045

11

“Worst for me physically: Pulling both hamstrings. First one, then the other while compensating.”

-Cyanora

12

“She said “you’re so good at this”. Followed that up with “much better than Travis and Matt”. Who the fuck are Travis and Matt??”

-MaxwellVonMaxwell

13

“Started farting uncontrollably. In rhythm to my thrusts. Thank god they were dry.”

-shootemupy2k

14

“I was banging my girl Doggystyle. Her dog jammed his snout in my crack and started licking my asshole. Closest I ever got to a threesome.”

-DummyMcDipshit

15

“Gagged on my boyfriend’s dick mid deepthroat and let out a giant fart.”

-lil_lilith666

16

“I bought some fancy, organic lube to try with my boyfriend at the time. We get down to business and my vagina starts stinging a little bit. Then a lot. Then full on BURNING. We quickly stop and he says that his bits are feeling a little tingly but not the level I’m on. I grab the lube bottle and take a better look at it. Just says normal, organic, unscented lube. I spend 5 minutes looking all over this damn bottle before I find the problem in the very last listed ingredient: menthol. My vagina continued to burn for the next hour.”

-TerracottaTurtle

17

“His dog made his way into the room and neither of us realized it because the dog was so quiet. We were changing positions and my foot went off the edge of the bed and the dog bit the fuck out of it. This was maybe 2 weeks after having foot surgery, probably less because I still had stitches in my foot. I cried so hard. It’s okay though. The guy explained that he rescued the dog from a dude that used to kick the shit out of him. Poor puppy probably thought he was getting kicked again and just tried to defend himself.”

-synonymtoastcrunch2

18

“The guy had a sudden pain. One side of his penis and groin turned black and blue. Had to go to the ER. Thought I broke his penis. It was a blood clot that moved there due to what was going on [the erection].”

-A_Random_Lady

19

“Her little fucking rat dog of a chihuahua snuck in the room while we’re fucking and attacked me. You have no idea how fast a man can move when there is a set of tiny evil teeth coming at your junk.”

-asus_chaos

20

“Guy I lost my virginity invited me over, we were both in high school. I apparently wasn’t over my period yet so got blood on his dick and he got so mad he kicked me out. I had no car, so his best friend ended up picking me up and driving me home and apologized on his behalf.”

-paradise1A