"We had a banana suck-off contest. It was basically a chocolate-covered banana on a stick where you would bend down and suck it. I was drinking and was one of the first girls up.
I thought the idea was to get all the chocolate off, so I went up on stage, started scraping it with my teeth, thinking I was doing an awesome job getting the chocolate off of that bad boy. Well, the contest was who could suck it the sexiest. I’m sure I made many people cringe that night."
"Not a stripper but had a few friends that were. I would go visit them and get cheap drinks (plus as a woman I never had to pay cover). One of my friends is on the pole and she’s wearing thigh-hi boots with 5 or 6″ heels. There’s a muscular, husky lesbian sitting right there and for some reason, she leans in as my friend jumps up to grab the top of the pole and do a swing-around slide down, one foot straight out."
"BAM, 6″ heel digs right into this lady’s face. Blood explodes everywhere, she grabs her face and blood is leaking like a river between her fingers.
The bouncers are immediately there and escort her backstage. My friend is just standing there in a G-string with a big O-face, stunned. The DJ runs out on stage and hustles her off and gets another dancer out there pronto."
"In my less wise years I worked at a shady strip club. This girl came in absolutely drunk as a skunk and was trying to look all hot in her 8-inch heels.
When she got up on the stage she looked like she was on ice skates and tried to sexily crawl on a guy, lost her hand placement and face planted onto the floor. Her whole body clumsily fell off the stage like a dead fish and she just laid there."
"Two of my coworkers once got drunk and basically had sex on stage. Chick-on-chick action tips well. She made $200 bucks in one err… “dance”."
"I was a door girl at a strip club and I’ve seen a guy whip his dick out in the entrance and try to pee, a stripper punch a guy in the face after yelling “you threw bleach in my sisters face”, and had a stripper trap me in the entrance booth to show me her vagina (which had a clit the size of a thumb) to try to seduce me. I’m sure there’s more I just can’t think of anything else right now."
"P.S. Pro tip – If you want a dancer to love you forever buy them food. Food is the fastest way to a dancer’s heart."
"Walked into the kitchen and saw one of the girls sitting bottomless on a prep counter. Never ever eat at a strip club."
"One time someone bit my ass during a lap dance. I straight-up thought about kicking him in the throat with my 6″ platforms. I had a bite-size bruise on my booty for a while."
"I had a regular that smelled like baloney always bought at least 5 dances in a row from me, asked if I would urinate on him then in his mouth for extra money. I told him he would have to pay for a champagne room for me to do that. I wasn’t going to pee all over a couch in the middle of the club. He declined the room."
"I worked at a strip club for a while. Monday nights were super slow. One of the older strippers would just lay down and text while she was on stage. She didn’t make much."
"Another time, I was working a Sunday night shift, another notoriously slow shift, when this taxi cab full of 4 dudes roll up, they fall out of the car. They ended up spending over 6k, and I got a 1k tip out of it. That was the best night ever."
"During my 1st audition, some guy without a shirt and high on PCP jumped on the stage, gave me a hug, and then proceeded to twirl himself around on a spinning chair that we had center stage. A fellow stripper had to get her bullwhip and catch him around the throat to drag him outside. Nothing even remotely weird like that has ever happened since."
"A friend of mine from high school was a stripper for a while. About five or six years after we graduated, she was dancing on the side stage when someone she recognized from our class came up to give her a tip.
She stopped dancing & said, “George Smith, you are not tipping me.” He ran back to his buddies, who we also went to high school with, & one of them (not the guy who originally came up to her) started saying really loudly, “I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A***** M****. THAT IS A**** M****. I TOLD YOU THAT I RECOGNIZED A**** M****.”"
"I used to bartend at a club in college. One of the dancers, who was fairly new, was trying a new move on the pole where she hooked her leg around it and stretched her body out so she was parallel to the floor.
Well, she fell on her face. There was a lot of blood. As the bouncer and I were helping her off the stage, one of the customers dipped his finger in it and tasted it."
"I’ve been requested to dig my heels into guy’s chests, kick them in the balls over and over, make a guy wet himself (he wore diapers under his clothes) and then make him crawl around the club. The list goes on."
"The funniest was a guy with an ass fetish with a touch of BDSM mixed in who became enamored with one of the girls. She set me up to talk to him so she could “catch” him talking to another girl.
His “punishment” was light and he seemed to be really happy with the show we were putting on for him. From that point on, he’d always show up wearing a shirt he’d made bearing the words “so and so’s butt slave”. He was the best customer. Lots of money, never inappropriate, and knew it was just a crafted fantasy."
For reasons I will never understand, on a business trip, I went to a strip club (very quiet Sunday night) and a lovely stripper chose me to seduce. Best one night stand of my life.
Sure I bet that happened alright.
I married a "go-go" dancer back when, best damn sex I had til she passed away a couple years ago.
Another old fucker. How's the impotency coming along?