"Using Icy/Hot to masturbate when I was 12. Thank god I was home alone because that shit hurt lol. Told that story to a coworker once and he started calling me Icy-Cock."
"When I was younger I tried a position I’d seen in a porno, basically putting her legs over my shoulders and lifting myself up into a squat, so only her shoulders were on the bed. I proceeded to try my absolute best to go as hard as possible.
It didn’t end well for either of us as I shat on her bed."
"We were fucking like rabbits, she tried to switch positions, and instead popped my hip out of socket. It was a painful climax. After that we decided to stay in one position."
"I was eating a girl’s ass when she farted right in my mouth. My hair blew back and everything. My husband and I were in shock so we didn’t know what to say. She was extremely embarrassed so the threesome ended really fast after that.
We told her it was ok and shit happens but she was too embarrassed to have another threesome with us again."
"Bought some lube off amazon used it and it gave my dick a rash."
"I tried pegging with my ex (It was his idea, he had the gear before we met).
It was gross and smelled like poop the whole time (I’ve had anal plenty of times and never pooped on anyone or made the whole room stink so this was a him issue)."
"Using Vaporub to lubricate."
"Keeping my eyes open as he finished on my face. The pain in my right eye lasted for 3 hours. Cum stings like a bitch, never again."
"Was taking my lady from behind pretty aggressively and my balls were hitting her ass harder than I realized in pre-orgasm ignorance.
Shortly after I shot my load my balls started explaining that they hadn’t liked it and for around the next 72 hours it felt like I’d taken a huge kick to the balls."
"Sleeping with my roommate’s ex. In my defense though, I didn’t know it was my roommate’s ex until after the fact. He dated her like a year prior to that and never brought her around or anything so I had no clue.
That ex definitely knew that we were roommates though. Clever girl.
Yeah as you can imagine, it was hard staying friends after that."