"I rolled her over to be on top and she said “Autobots roll out” in her best Optimus Prime impersonation. Laughed so hard I went soft, but it was worth it."
"I love you..r pussy. I meant I love your pussy. Still with him too."
"He asked what we should eat later. Mid sex."
"In the middle of fingering me, he pulled his hand out and held up a fist with his thumb between his fingers and said “got your clit!”"
"I had a girlfriend who told me that her one night stand said, “momma” in a baby’s voice right when she took her bra off. He then proceeded to make bottle sucking noises.
I thought it was kinda funny but she said she got redressed and instantly left lol."
"It wasn’t what he said, it was how he said it. I don’t even remember what he was saying, the issue was that he was doing it in Hank Hill’s voice! We had to stop for a second because I was laughing so hard!"
“You’re so lucky you have a boyfriend who keeps going after he’s already cum.”He proceeded to pump once more then roll off of me. The sex lasted about 30 seconds all together.
"That my insides feel like there are so mossy as if they are some rocky walls during monsoons."
"Met a dude for a quick fuck once and when he finished he slapped me on the ass and said “much obliged” which was classy in an old fashioned sort of way."
"My gf once had a little problem with her rear winds. Before I entered, I had the great idea to stare at her and say “if you gotta fart, fart now.” And we stopped the act because she laughed so hard that it was impossible to start any “cardio session”. For 4 days."
"This will always stick in my mind. Having sex with my new girl friend, of a couple of months. She was finishing her law degree. I had a small business. Struggling along.
So while having sex she says “How does it feel to be fucking your lawyer?” I replied “How does it feel to be fucking a poor white?” Had to stop pumping, we were laughing so hard."
"My boyfriend once said “oy vey” seeing my tits. I have never let him live it down."
"After I finished I said with heavy breathing “knees weak. Arms heavy, somethin somethin mom’s spaghetti.” Now she can’t hear that song without laughing."