You would never try this move
You would not dance on slippery surfaces
You regularly dance without a Bat Cape and with a shirt
You never threaten innocent animals with your moves
You rock moves outside of your mom's bedroom
You find age appropriate dance partners
You are not Lady Gaga with vertigo
You look happy when you twerk in front of a VCR
You dress appropriately when you dance
You are not dancing on ice
You are not dancing in a Snuggie in the wilderness
You only attempt moves that you know
You are 'appropriate' in your moves
see above
Please
You take your medications before hitting the floor
You do not see your moves as a mode of transportation
You are not grinding a mirror
You are not roundhouse kicking your dance partner