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#1 the friend-zone... my advice to all you young guys, don't ever allow yourself to stay in that awful limbo. If she likes you but won't [email protected]#k you, get out asap. They decide whether or not they want sex with you when they first meet you and will almost never change their mind.
you forgot about the other option. She doesn't know yet, that you are the [email protected]#k material. So you just got to go out of the friendzone, it's doable.
Undetectable - Another several thousand years, I expect. You can be as miserable as you (apparently) want, but you won't live long enough to see it change.